How to Keep Long-Distance Friendships Going Without Being Clingy or Ghosting
Let’s be honest: it’s hard enough to make friends as an adult when you live in the same place. Add a few thousand miles, different time zones, plus the reality that everyone is “busy,” and your best friend starts to feel like a pen pal from 1998. But here’s the good news: friendships don’t have to terminate because of distance.
You only need to be a little more purposeful and a little less indolent. Here’s how to stay close even when you’re not together.
Get rid of the “We Should Talk More” guilt. News flash:
No one has time for an hour-long catch-up every day. More quality than quantity. A spontaneous voice remark, a meme that made you think of them, or a fast “Hey, miss you!” SMS keeps the connection going without the stress of long phone calls.
Plan Like It’s a meeting for work (since there’s no more spontaneity)
“Let’s Zoom soon!” is like “Let’s do lunch” for pals; it never happens. Choose a date and time, write it down in your calendar, and treat it if it’s set in stone. If time zones are a pain, switch up who works the late shift.
Be creative with virtual hangouts
Netflix Party is so last year. You could also watch the same horrible reality show at different times and email each other your thoughts as you watch. You may also play games online, attend a virtual cooking lesson, or just sit on FaceTime and fold clothes together. Being together in a boring way is better than having to have fun.
Send Real Mail (Yes, Like Snail Mail)
A postcard, a silly gift from Amazon, or even a handwritten letter is not the same as a DM. Getting letters you weren’t expecting gives you a quick burst of serotonin. Plus, it shows that you care enough to look for a stamp.
Don’t just talk; do something together
You could start a book club for two people, learn a TikTok dance, or pick up the same hobby (extra points if you’re both bad at it). Shared experiences, even if they are online, can keep the link intact.
Accept the ups and downs
There are weeks when you talk every day, and then there are months when life becomes crazy and you don’t talk at all. That’s normal. What makes a friendship real? You may pick up right where you left off without feeling guilty.
Celebrate the little things (and the big things)
Getting a promotion? End of a relationship? Did you find a great place to get coffee? From a distance, be each other’s hype squad. Even if you’re not there in person, a fast “OMG TELL ME EVERYTHING” message makes them feel like they are.
Make plans for the next reunion ahead of time
You both have something to look forward to when you have a trip or visit planned. It feels like the distance isn’t real as long as you know you’ll see each other in person.
Last piece of advice: It’s okay to know that some friendships change.
It’s not always a negative thing that not all long-distance friendships last. Pay attention to the people who try, and be the kind of friend who makes it worth their time.
